What did you want to say?
-04:00
Teeth
-06:21
i wanna get into reading but i don't know what i would want to read
-11:23
this motivates me to write my own book. I want to create something that I'd enjoy reading.
-11:24
It already has a few paragraphs. It will become an entire book at some point.
-11:25
this is a me problem but i really don't find most premises to be compelling enough to read an entire book of it
-11:26
and i need to work on my attention span
-11:26
My main bias is that i feel as though anything which looks too trope-y will be a waste of time.. i've seen it all too much, for example i look at any random "mystery" book and 90% of the time it's about murders or kidnappings
-11:30
I just don't feel drawn to it. I'm sorry if it sounds pretentious, but i find constant tropes to be boring.
-11:31
and something very odd is that stories that are too realistic are completely uninteresting to me.. No, I mean, because they're about regular people. I don't find the real world to be boring. I don't find real people boring either, but BOOKS about fictional people who are completely normal? I don't know. Is it because i can't relate to the regular human world? I don't know where the detachment comes from and it kinda worries me
-11:35
Well, it worries me not because i'm scared of not being interested in fake people, it's just that the reason behind it is completely out of sight.
-11:37
Do I always need subversion? And always to the point where reality must be subverted?
-11:41
I don't think so.. the world i'm creating in the "book" i'm writing. is a world where everything makes sense
-11:42
I think i'm attracted to something else, i'm attracted to mechanism,
-11:43
judging by what i've written so far
-11:43
I'm just guessing here
-11:44
Ohhhhhhh wait a second i know what it is, it's absurdism, i just remembered one of the fictions i liked
-11:45
It's not a bad thing. those concepts, uncertainty and wonder, i can see the pattern of these often with my fascinations
-11:46
It's weird to say but it's true that it's where i find "home",
-11:47
We already knew the answer to that question
-11:48
I don't know how to explain it but it FEELS more natural than it sounds. I feel like things make sense. Even when they don't technically.
-11:51
That's something i've wanted to explore because i experience it often and i don't fully get it, WHY do incomprehensible things make sense to me?
-11:51
while at the same time, NOT being boring, the sense of wonder. It's like how a kid experiences the world, isn't it? Things just happen and you may not be able to explain why they really happen but you accept them in a way that it feels as though they already make sense
-11:53
There are plenty of people out there who seek out the unexplainable, for more or less the same reasons that i seek out surreality
-11:55
Going back onto my points about predictability, it reminds me of something i said once
-11:58
Magic is just real world mechanics except it's unpredictabl. Think about it, electricity and magnets and fire and water are a bunch of cool things that react to different things and can make things happen, but they're not "magic" because science
-11:59
Magic is unpredictability, so, i'm going to tie these two points together. The fact that i find predictability boring and i'm fascinated with absurdism, i think i'm just into magic
-12:00
Ironically a lot of fictions with magic make their magic super predictable, fireball and water and shadow and the usual stuff. AND they have wizards who have magic under their control, kinda like scientists
-12:03
There's a difference between the fantasy trope of magic and the feeling of magic
-12:03