June 19, 2025

-04:03

I'm glad to be back

-04:04

very the

-04:09

remember what i was going to do today?

-04:10

i was going to continue that, because it's important to know for possible future cases

-04:11

and i was going to do something else but i forgot what

-04:11

i had a lot planned

-04:13

recently, i realized how skilled i can be

if i have enough exposure to a category, i'll have a strong intuition about anything in that category

-04:15

I wouldn't say in the same way as a professional

-04:16

but it's even noticeable by others

this is because exposure to that category of things will always happen, you don't HAVE to "study" anything

a tacit knowledge is built up

-04:18

I desire to have the same experience with another category of things

that's far more difficult, considering that nothing will ever be more familiar than the human condition

-04:20

i'm quick to understand things, only when i'm experienced with them

-04:20

I wish I knew assembly code

but i don't have the desire or focus to entrench myself into the world of machines

despite interacting with them constantly

-04:22

I just want to understand complexity

-04:23

It's too hard to learn, because every interest of mine passes quickly

-04:24

The same is even with entertainment media

It doesn't have to be difficult

-04:25

and i won't even expect to get into anything like physics

-04:27

i have this chronic boredom which prevents me from caring about anyTHING consistently

i only really care about other people

i can only care to engage regularly in a hobby if it's with someone else

-04:29

It's sad

but I try to make things work out for myself

-04:31

I don't know how to describe my personality

-04:39

It's hard to find others who share the same style of personality

-04:40

I know my cognitive type, but that doesn't describe every part

-04:43

There are certain attributes i've never lost

unlike most others around my age

-04:44

i enjoy life

-04:45

In such a way, that you'd think everything was still new

-04:45

i won't exaggerate this too much, however, i'm not always brimming with joy

-04:46

but it feels like most others are worn down

for one reason or another, they can't enjoy the simple things in life

-04:47

It's not their fault

-04:48

another thing is that i wish i could meet someone who shares a similar level of creativity and understanding

-04:51

I've always been different

I've learned to accept the way it is

-04:52

i'm happy it's colder again

i'm tired of the heat

-05:15

if i could choose to live in a colder place, i would

-05:15

the feeling of cold air on your skin is a freeing one

heat is like a weight

-05:17

i'd like to go back to sleep

i miss the random adventures i have

-05:20

I love music

-05:22

I don't listen to it often, though

I get bored of the songs i've downloaded

and then i have to go find more

-05:24

which is not easy, my music taste is incredibly specific

-05:25

it'd be hard to summarize it, but it's mostly instrumental and electronical

-05:25

my favorite lyrical genres are songs from the 1900s-30s, and eurobeats, though i'm much more into the old stuff

-05:28

my favorite genre of all time (as of writing this) has to be Amiga-era tracker music

-05:29

and it's the genre which resonates with me the most

-05:31

a genre i've gotten into recently is vintage synth music

-05:33

but it's hard to find my favorite kind of synth music

-05:34

the artist i listen to the most in that area is Raymond Scott

but most of his synth music is more experimental, rather than a consistent style

-05:35

I don't know of any other artists who consistently make music with the 60's synth sound

-05:35

either way, music is special to me

-05:38

The music resonates with me in such a way

That no other form of media can

-05:42

It was nostalgic to remember sleeping in class

-05:49

I was thinking about how sleeping is one of my hobbies

-05:50

I wanna set up something

-05:53

I don't know what, it was just a random feeling

-05:54

I like doing technical stuff

-05:55

I need to play more puzzle games

or strategy games

-05:56

I noticed that, because i miss the feeling of putting things together

-05:56

That room is never a lonely place

-06:08

I wonder if i'm using my diaphragm correctly

-06:20

For a while, i've been worried about a subtle change in the way I breathe

-06:21

It's most likely nothing. When it comes to health, i can worry about any small thing

But it feels like i can't exhale or laugh as naturally as i used to

-06:23

These places we return to

does it give them their own life?

-07:34

Places that nobody else has gone to

-07:36